Have you ever tried negotiating with a 6 year old to try and work on their phonics…it is not fun. In our house homeschooling very much became a battle of wills which I would inevitably lose.
In addition to the daily battles, I was also trying to learn the correct method to use to teach the 6 year old and help her to complete the tasks. I am so grateful that children in year 1 were able to return to school at the beginning of June…the seven year old was much easier to deal with.
Or was he? Turns out that the only reason he had been such a good sport initially was to show his sister up. As soon as she was back at school there was no incentive to do the work that had been set by his teacher.
I do not think I am alone in keeping every limb crossed that the children will be returning to school and, once they are back, that they will continue to attend with no need for the school to ever shut down again in the future!
To any teachers who may be reading, thank you so much for all of your hard work. You are truly remarkable people who I am in awe of. You ensure that the children in your care are safe, happy and most importantly end the day a little bit smarter than they were when they arrive each morning. I am grateful that the only input that you require from me to facilitate this is to listen to my child read a little bit of a book each night.
Here is where the mum guilt kicks in though, if you are anything like me then you more than likely look at social media daily and, lets be honest, we all sit there looking at the screens comparing our lives to other people.
We all have that one friend who seemingly has the perfect child, with the itinerary set out for the day for good clean educational fun who look immaculate to boot!!
And here I am watching the stories, looking at the posts thinking good on you, the most I can manage is to get the bright shiny box (TV) in the corner turned off for a couple of hours to enable my child to stomp around the house complaining how bored they are. If I am really lucky, I might manage to scrape my hair out of my face and chuck it on the top of my head with a claw clip.
Let’s be honest the only knowledge that I have to share is my eclectic music taste and how to keep our home tidy.
I did work for a large part of their early years (more mum guilt) but I am here now. Am I present? Maybe, however, my mind is now occupied with the mechanics of running the home and ensuring that we survive from one day to the next.
From the moment I wake up my brain is focusing on the basics that need to be done each day and the timetable for the day up until bedtime.
My typical day during lockdown was wake up, feed children, get dressed, do PE with Joe (without the children) argue with the children to get dressed by which time its lunchtime, so feed children, argue with the children about taking their dishes to the kitchen/completing schoolwork, think about what to cook for tea, discuss options for tea, argue with children about who likes what, start cooking tea, feed children, sort dishes, run bath, wash children, pick up dirty clothes, prepare supper, argue with children about bed time, referee arguments about whose choice it is to pick the story, get children in to their beds, read said story, sneak downstairs and watch TV then head to bed and fall asleep ready to repeat the cycle the next day.
Luckily, we are now enjoying the summer holidays so the monotony of the lockdown routine has changed slightly but the bare bones are still there. No more arguments about schoolwork but these have been replaced by arguments about tidying bedrooms or putting rubbish in the bin.
We have all been together for nearly six months and patience is starting to wear a bit thin. I find myself feeling angry a lot of the time due to my current state of mind which is wrongly being projected on to my children which is why I am now receiving counselling.
I do not want to be the angry Mum all the time whose children do not think of as being able to have fun or play or even have a simple normal conversation without shouting at them.
I want my children to be able to talk to me about any issue that they have without fear that I am going to hit the roof. I want them to feel safe and comfortable so that when they have problems they know I will be there to support them to the best of my ability. I am not that person yet…but I will get there.
As a side note, although I feel angry and talk about anger in this post my children are not in any sort of danger from me, my anger manifests as shouting at them once they have ignored my multiple requests to carry out a simple task.
For me, lockdown meant that there was a dwindling reserve of consequences that you can impose on your children. My two were aware that the usual items such as not going to the park to play or visiting family members were prohibited as a result of lockdown anyway.
I did attempt to get creative to encourage my daughter to write a sentence. I thought of the worst possible household task that I could to try and motivate her to write a short sentence. So, I calmly gave the 6 year old the options, write your sentence or clean the downstairs toilet.
No brainer right? Who would choose to clean a toilet? My 6 year old would!! Damn…cant backtrack now so the sentence was not completed and I ended up cleaning the toilet with the 6 year old wielding the brush like its the sword from the stone. The final score for the day was 6 year old 1 – 0 Mummy.
Their environment is safe and loving. Generally speaking if I feel like I am reaching a point of no return I will remove myself from their presence by going to my bedroom or the garage and allowing myself time to breathe and wait for the burning feeling inside to subside before returning to them.
The most important step is to recognise the feelings and do as much as you can to protect your children. For me that meant turning the TV on and ensuring that they were focused on a task that they enjoy so that I could escape for a while to cool down.
Mumma Bear Roars 