Hello again. We are currently gearing up to go away for a long weekend as a family camping!! Oh the joys!! Children love camping, it is all so exciting and different.
However, it is one thing that causes a large amount of stress and anxiety for me. There are several reasons for this. The first being travel time. It is hard work being stuck in a car for longer than an hour with two loud excitable children is hard work. I try to make sure that I have all bases covered, a supply and variety of snacks that they can eat in the car, drinks, and music.
Entertainment wise, there are only so many round of “I spy” that you can play. This isn’t helped by the age difference, it does not take long for the game to descend in to riotous screaming about the younger child getting her letters confused.
This is followed by the arrival at the camp site. Once we get to our pitch we need to set up camp. Luckily, we have a trailer tent and this simplifies the process but trying to keep an eye on where the children and dog are while we are unfolding the tent and setting up the awning. Nightmare!
Generally, once this is done we need to figure out where the facilities are on the camp site. I keep everything crossed that we are close but not too close to the toilet blocks. It is not fun having to hike across the fields with a child who needs a wee in the middle of night, as I am sure you can imagine.
One of the issues that I have relates to food. I am paranoid about food storage and preparation. I am terrified that something that I prepare for my family will make them sick. It is a completely irrational thought process. I am constantly reminding myself that as long as I follow the instructions or recipe it will be fine.
If I am not cooking, then I am cleaning down my kitchen obsessively. When you are camping though food storage options are limited… and it is dirty. Now, I say it is dirty, it isn’t dirty, its nature…that’s all. So, everything has to be sealed and as for cooking, generally we are eating out.
The third anxiety is the loss of routine. We are on holiday, what difference does it make if the kids go to bed a little later. The truth is though that it makes a huge difference. Not straight away, but once we are home and back to reality they come down with a huge bump. Then the real fun starts, tantrums galore all round.
The fourth anxiety is packing. Now this one is a challenge. I need to make sure that there are enough clothes to accommodate any accidents, spillages or falls. I also need to make sure that there is ample supply of blankets and warm pyjamas because it gets cold overnight sleeping under canvas. With camping you need to make sure you remember to take dishes, cutlery, washing up supplies, water, gas stove, kettle, tea bags…I cannot function without a cup of tea in any environment. We also need to pack the hygiene essentials, bedding, dog food, dog bowls and nappy sacks (for the dog mess)… oh and cereal, the variety packs are really handy.
The next thing that I worry about is making sure that the house is spick and span before we leave. It needs to have had a good. proper, top to bottom clean before we leave otherwise I cannot relax once we leave. I think this is due to the fact that once the holiday is over, you have all the washing and unpacking to do so if the house is a mess it is really overwhelming.
We have not timed our holiday well. Our children return to school on Monday but it was the only opportunity that we were going to get for a holiday this year. So what could we do? After everything that has happened in the world this year I think that we all deserve some time out. You need to make the memories while you can right?
So, now I have mum guilt. I am anxious about going on holiday for the reasons given above but, this is also because I know that this is going to have a knock on effect for the children when they return to school. My eldest has not been in a school environment for six months, that is a long time for anyone let alone a seven year old!
I feel guilty because I am not much fun in the run up to the holiday, panicking that we have forgotten something that we are going to need and it takes a few hours once we have arrived for me to settle and start enjoying the break.
The next few weeks are going to be a struggle. I am going to have to take whatever they throw at me in my stride and I am not sure if I can. This is all part and parcel of motherhood, I know this and every day is a school day.
Now that I have embarked on the process of getting help with my mental health there are going to be changes that will need to happen, behaviours and reactions that I will consciously be working to change. I hope that it will improve my relationship with each of them but we will see.
Mumma Bear Roars 