The children are back at school!! I am free from the shackles of homeschooling. However I am bored and have no idea what to do with myself. I feel like I am walking about in a daze. I must say that I write this blog as a tool to keep my mental wellbeing in check and as a result I have written the following thoughts. You may agree, you may not, either way that is ok.
I, like many of us, have been watching the chaos that has ensued following the Oprah interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. I am confused and find myself questioning everything that I thought was true and understood to be right.
As I have said before, as a child I wanted to be a journalist. I believed that the role of a reporter is to present the facts in an unbiased fair way and to highlight issues and raise questions as and when needed. It seems that is not the case.
The interview has started some important conversations particularly regarding racism and mental health. However the conversation has been started in a way which sets people against each other which is a shame.
Racism is unacceptable in any way. We, as white people, need to sit back and listen to the experiences that are being shared by our counterparts without becoming defensive. We have to allow the minority to call out what is racism and what isn’t.
We, as white people, are not in a position to recognise it. I can look at a situation and think about how I would feel if that happened to me but the truth is I can not know how it feels for any one else.
This is in no way a fair comparison but it is the only experience I have had where I have felt uncomfortable due to a strangers actions. When I was pregnant with my second child I can remember having several incidents where, due to the size of my bump, strangers would put their hands on my stomach, or if they didn’t do that they would ask if they could touch my bump. If I refused they would look shocked and upset. I can even remember being reprimanded by Mum for saying no because that person didn’t mean any harm and there was no need to be rude.
In my mind it has never been acceptable to do that to anyone. I felt violated by that. Now, when I think about that experience I cannot help but feel disgusted with myself. To think that I had the audacity to believe that I was violated by those actions when there are many other experiences out there which would never have happened to me but happen to others because purely due to their appearance.
These experiences need to be heard and need to be recognised so that progress can be made in recognising these behaviours so that we can stop them.
I have no right to reply to anyone who has had a negative experience due to the colour of their skin. I need to hear it but I cannot defend it and ignore it nor do I have a right to refute it.
The same applies to the issues raised regarding mental health and support that is available. It is impossible to know the state of mind of another person at any given point regardless of their circumstances. This is why it is often said to be kind to everyone.
So how do we move forward? If we have questions or are confused where do we turn? It seems that all sources that you may have used previously to fact check or look things up that cause confusion are unreliable sources, particularly in connection with the Royal Family.
That revelation has been hard to wrap my head around. I feel deflated, lost and helpless.
We all have a responsibility as parents to listen and to learn from these experiences. I need to do that so I can pass those lessons on to my children to ensure that they can take the necessary steps, in the future, to keep pushing for changes that need to happen to ensure equality for all.
I would like to make it clear that I am not taking any sides in this argument. I am neither for or against. All I am interested in is understanding and finding the truth. In that vain there were some aspects of the interview that didn’t make sense and instances where the couple did appear to contradict what had already been said. None of that is being raised or spoken about at the moment. That is understandable There are two huge issues that cannot be ignored nor should they be. Nevertheless the questions are still there.
Does that make me a racist? I am sure there are people who have listened to other Royal Interviews and have analysed what has been said and tried to fact check statements that have been made in an attempt to ascertain whether the party/ies involved were being truthful and whether or not what they are saying is credible.
That does not appear to be happening here at the moment which I think is, in a way, a disservice to the public. I want to make it clear I am not referring to racism or mental health issues with this statement. I am talking about looking at the facts that are available such as documentation or timelines and inconsistencies in what has been said, as has been done previously with other public figures to enable people to reach their own conclusions.
Surely in order to get a full and complete picture you need to compare articles that have been written about all of the royals respectively throughout their lives of public service, past and present. Having said that, it appears that we cannot trust or rely on any information that has been provided by the media.
I have had questions about the media for a while. They seem to cover stories that are completely ridiculous and irrelevant to society. There are many issues which would be in the public interest to know about which are not reported or necessarily given the attention that they deserve. Maybe that is due to the nature of the information or the way in which the information has been obtained.
For example, I am sure that there are restrictions placed on the media when they are covering sensitive subjects or cases, such as criminal cases or public inquiries prior to the conclusion being reached. I understand the reasons for this and would hope that all information would become public following such a conclusion. Personally, I am aware of an ongoing public inquiry and I am surprised that there does not appear to be very much coverage at all in the media. I hope that is because it is ongoing. I hope that once it has been concluded it will be given the attention it deserves and the people affected will get the answers that they so desperately need.
The other element of my beliefs that have been impacted is my belief about the truth. My understanding of the truth is that it is an absolute and in order to reach the truth you have to provide evidence that will corroborate what you say. Victims of crime need to provide statements. In the case of rape and abuse, photographs need to be taken of injuries and samples need to be taken from the victims in order to obtain DNA evidence. Potential witnesses need to provide statements and the accused is required to provide a statement and any evidence that he/she may have to corroborate their story.
I believe this is then all collated and presented to the Crown Prosecution Service who, based on the evidence provided make a decision as to whether or not there is sufficient evidence available to ascertain the truth of the situation. They get it wrong at times. Guilty people are not always proven to be guilty and sometimes innocent people are. That is sad but true. No system is perfect and no system is infallible, they are all open to the threat of human error.
Now it seems that experience is being defined as truth and therefore because that is what was experienced or how it felt that is the truth. I am a little uneasy with the concept of this definition. It is hard enough, as a victim, to speak out. If you add in to the equation the idea that all parties are speaking their truth, without the need to provide evidence in support of their claims, or the possibility of further questioning then, how on earth can victims or falsely accused obtain justice or clear their names. If that was the approach of a legal system a hell of a lot of people could be convicted unfairly and a lot of guilty people could be free to walk around and hurt others. That, to me, is a terrifying concept.
So I am confused. I hear the experiences, I am not defending white people. I hear what you are saying and I am ashamed by that. I am not denying that it is true. It needs to be called out, it needs to change. These conversations need to keep happening, the channels of communication need to remain open and we all need to stop tearing chunks out of each other.
But that’s just my opinion and, as always, opinions can change so long as you are open to listen to both sides in any debate.
Mumma Bear Roars 