For the Greater Good…

So, this week has been a tough one. My son tested positive at the beginning of the week, as have many of his class mates, and as a result he has been in isolation.

Homeschooling was back for the week. Google classroom still exists, the schoolwork uploaded and there it stays, taunting me daily. I finally gave up trying. It was a lost cause from the beginning really but I persevered before deciding today that actually I am bored of being hated by my child.

He effectively hates me at the moment and I understand why. He is 9 and has been made to isolate, as much as possible in his room for 5 days now. I am not a monster, we did set up a spare TV and a games console in his room so he could keep himself entertained but, nevertheless he has had to keep his distance and remain in his room to reduce the risk of the youngest contracting the virus.

Whilst she has been at school, following negative tests, he has been coming downstairs to complete his schoolwork as and when he can be bothered. It has been a struggle, there have been tears, there has been shouting and it has inevitably resulted in me walking away and leaving him to decide for himself what he wishes to do.

I read an interesting article today regarding the number of children needing special treatment due to suffering from severe mental health crisis. As I was reading this article on the BBC website I naturally began thinking about my own children and how unsurprising this information truly is.

I have been in a self imposed isolation myself due to this and I have struggled. I was not able to go to training this week which was really difficult. I know I have spoken about how grumpy I get if I cannot train and this week was no exception.

The downward spiral was almost immediate. My energy levels dropped, I could not be bothered to do much, the house became a mess and I stopped making an effort with my appearance. I didn’t even bother to put on deodorant because what was the point? I wasn’t going to be seeing anyone or close to anyone. It didn’t matter if I was a bit pongy. I know that my mental health took a battering and I struggled, so what impact has this had on my child? Thankfully he was not that poorly, he had a bit of a cough and was a little tired but otherwise he was his usual cheeky, demanding and, at times, infuriating self.

As an adult we can understand the reasons and justify isolation to ourselves. Children can do the same but they do not have the experience or capability to rationalise it. On top of that they have been told so many different rules and information which seems to be constantly changing so I am not surprised that there has been a dramatic increase.

What did surprise me was that this article was the seventh item listed on their website. Above this story, at the time of writing this post, the stories above in no particular order, the Winter Olympics, farmer who was cleared of criminal damage for flipping a car parked on his land, bank boss telling people not to ask for a pay rise, a Labour peer who has been jailed, China and Russia opposing Nato expansion and the number 10 denying that the prime minister has lost control following resignations. The story of the farmer is bigger than a rise in children needing support and professional help with their mental health. feel free to check it for yourselves, I do not even know whether it will still be available once this post has been published.

However, no one seems to be talking about this. Out of curiosity I went to the Samaritans website to see if they have any guidance for signs to look out for. It is a very helpful website however, as I was reading the signs I realised that effectively, most of them I have imposed on my child this week. That makes me a monster.

Why have I become this monster? For the greater good, I have become one of the villagers from Hot Fuzz because that’s what the rules say we have to do to protect each other. I have put the well being of every other person before that of my own child to stop the spread and protect people that I do not even know.

As a consequence of this my son no longer wishes to leave his room. Granted that may be due to the temporary set up that has been provided but what if it isn’t? What if he now chooses to remain distanced because that is what is best for everyone else?

The other question we need to ask ourselves is whether or not the current approach is sustainable in the long term. I know of children who have contracted this virus at least twice during the past twelve months which would indicate that this isn’t a one shot deal. If the children test positive multiple times within a school year then that could be a significant amount of education that they will miss.

Regardless of the homeschooling resources that are in place we are not teachers and in order for the children to learn they need that interaction and assistance from an appropriately trained adult. Not from their mum who does not understand why they have over complicated maths so that it takes twice as long to do a calculation!

None of us know the answers to these questions. I don’t know what long term effects, if any, this experience may have on my son. I hope that he understands my reasons but if he doesn’t, I hope he knows that I will regret my actions this week for the rest of my life.

One thing I do know following this experience is I will not take these steps again. We will continue to isolate from the outside world but I will not be isolating him from us again.

Anyway, today he had a negative test which is a good thing. We are on our way out. It certainly gave me a much needed boost this morning. I found the energy to do some of the many jobs that have been stagnating this week including changing the tablecloth on the dining table. Pickles certainly enjoyed that activity today and my hands have the marks to prove it.

There are lots of different events coming up which I will share with you in due course. In the meantime though, this weekend I will mostly be watching rugby matches on TV which include the Allianz Premier 15’s and, of course, the six nations!! I’m so excited and, if I’m lucky I may even be able to attend training on Sunday!!