This post has taken some time to write and there have simply been too many ups and downs to keep track of. Therefore I have chosen three events to write about. One which makes me nervous, one which makes me proud and one which has made me feel useless.
So much has happened and there has been a lot of emotion involved. Unfortunately for me when I am overwhelmed I seem to shut down and detach. A survival mode seems to initiate itself and it takes me quite a long time to reconnect and process my emotions and events that have happened.
So what has been happening in my life since I last wrote a post? A whole lot of stuff. Temper tantrums (both adult and child), tears, laughter, illness and everything in between.
This weekend the boy is going on a camping trip with Cubs. It will be strange and I am apprehensive about it as it will be the first time he has been away from home without a single family member with him. In preparation for this trip he needs to have the badges that he has earned so far, sewn on to his jumper. The problem with this is I can’t sew. As a result my knight is spending his evening with a needle and thread sewing on all the badges that we have been saving for him. How kind of me to put the boys well-being before that of myself (and my eyesight) to ensure that the badges are adequately attached and to allow my husband the honour of completing that task. Don’t you agree?
What else has been happening? Well, the rugby season is over. The Valkyries debut season has been concluded and a big party was thrown with food, a lot of alcohol and dancing so I’m told. I have little recollection of the last part. In fact I have little memory of the whole evening. What I do remember is that drinks kept appearing for me quicker than I could drink them and I seem to have returned home with the same amount of money that I left with so it was clearly a really good night.
I was very poorly afterwards, there was tummy paint flying all over the place. I remember that but I do not remember the journey home or how I got in to bed. In fact, I do not remember leaving the club.
So what do I remember? I remember a lot of tears, cheering for my team mates who won award, laughter and disbelief as I myself won Player of the Year. How did that happen? I have no idea. It’s all rather surreal still. The trophy is currently sat next to a games cube in the lounge on the Welsh dresser. There was a nice speech and I should have confessed my gratitude and appreciation to every person in that room but I couldn’t speak. The part of my brain that store vocabulary deserted me in that moment.
What I should have said is what follows:-
“Thank you all for this award. I am humbled and overwhelmed to have won. If it had not been the support of each and every single person in my life than I would not be here. thank you to my sister in law for laying on a guilt trip to come to a taster day to make up the numbers. If it hadn’t been for her I would not have met any of you and now I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t see your faces every week. I guess we will find out over the summer. It has been a pleasure and an honour to learn about this sport with all of you and to play with you on that pitch makes my heart full. Thank you for providing me with a space where I am Just Kel but most of all thank you for accepting me as I am without passing judgement on me or needing me to change. Thank you for lifting me up when I am down and for giving me a kick up the ass to get back up when. Here’s to next season where we will continue chasing that elusive win which is sure to come sooner than we think.”
I didn’t say that which I regret and due to circumstances out of our control it appears that the Player of the Year trophy is destined to be placed in to storage for the remainder of my time as the caretaker.
I’m not sure how active I will be with the team over the coming months. In addition to the housing issues that follow there are some minor health issues that I need to deal with. So for now that needs to take priority and I hope that when I return it will be the same fun filled, loving, caring and accepting team spirit that exists now.
Now for the biggest hit we have received recently. As you know our landlord has expressed a desire to sell the property we occupy. He has offered to sell to us however, we cannot afford the money that he has indicated he would accept. There would be a lot of things that we would change so we have been looking for a property which ticks all of our boxes so that our next home is our forever home.
The housing market at the moment is rather nuts. I’m not going to get into the dynamics etc today. It’s always crazy at this time of year. We thought that we would have some time to move forward with this plan, unfortunately that is not the case.
We have now been served notice to vacate. Effectively, we are screwed and it sounds like we screwed ourselves. How did we manage that? According to the landlord who kindly phoned me a couple of hours before the notice was delivered due to the proposed changes which have been made by the Government, he had been left with no choice but to evict us now.
How can the changes have that impact? Well, it sounds like if you are a “good” tenant then it will not be possible for a private landlord to evict you. A good tenant is someone who pays their rent on time, takes care of the property and doesn’t participate in anti social behaviour. According to the landlord he has to evict us because he knows after six years of us occupying his property we are not going to provide him with any grounds to evict us in the future and they need to sell the property.
So I did some digging. I like doing that occasionally. Personally I had not heard anything about any proposed changes for landlords of the nature described. That’s because it appears these proposed changes have not been covered by mainstream media. In fact, a quick Google search reveals that this particular element of the proposed reforms by Mr Gove has only been the subject of articles for iNews and Inside Housing.
Isn’t that interesting. The media has been slamming striking workers, talking about the situation in Ukraine, questioning the value of the Royal Family but not a single one have mentioned this small detail which has the potential to have an adverse impact on a lot of families around the country as landlords can use it as the perfect excuse to make their good tenants homeless now.
On closer examination of the White Paper which was published on the 16 June 2022 the representation provided by my landlord is incorrect. According to the paper published on http://www.gov.uk titled Policy Paper – A fairer private renter sector “You will be able to take back possession using the reformed “moving in” ground or the new ground for selling. The expanded moving in ground will include when close family members Want go live in the property but the intention to live in the property will be vital (not simply prior residence). Both grounds will require 2 months notice and the use of the moving in and selling grounds will be limited in the first six months of a tenancy”.
In layman’s terms either my landlord or the people who are advising him are talking rubbish. I wish that it was surprising that this is the approach chosen but the truth is this these proposals are being used as a shield for my landlord to hide behind. I wonder how many other families are going through the same process.
So we are reduced to having to beg for help from family and friends. The local authority are not in a position to help us. Their advice is to try and find somewhere to go quickly the issue with that is the fact that rents are skyrocketing as landlords sell up which means any available properties are in higher demand due to a shrinking market.
Well done Westminster. I wonder what other proposals and reforms have been proposed while our attention has been diverted elsewhere.
What are we supposed to do now? There is nothing suitable for our family to buy within our current budget. Even if we sold everything we currently own it still wouldn’t be enough. We are not entitled to bid on a three bedroom property because our eldest child is six months away from turning ten and our banding of need has not been adjusted from no need even though first contact was made two months ago. We are still unable to view available properties let alone bid for them.
I wonder if the waiting list for a home is as long as the list for a garage? If so, it could be 5-6 years before a property becomes available.
I understand the regulations regarding the children, however, it does seem a little backwards to potentially place us in a two bedroom property knowing that it will be necessary to move in six months due to our son turning 10.
I do not think I will ever understand why it is necessary to be humiliated and totally broken before you are offered any help. Nine times out of ten by the time help is available it is too late to be of any use.
Meanwhile Wurzel Gummidge has announced that he is going to extend the right to buy scheme to housing association tenants which will only exacerbate further. the supply and demand issue that the country is facing. Another one of his proposals made at the same time was moving people from “benefits to bricks”. From what I have seen in the media the idea behind this scheme is to allow people to choose whether they wish to use their benefits on rent or to put them towards a mortgage. Does that make sense to anyone else because I thought that if you were in receipt of benefits that was because you were on a low income. Maybe I am being a little harsh here but if households that are not eligible to receive benefits are unable to purchase a property then how is it plausible that others on lower incomes can?
Maybe being a nice, honest, hardworking person is no longer the best way to live. It sure feels like all you gain from being that way is a kick in the teeth with an added gut punch for good measure right now.
I mean the system is stretched past its capacity already and the proposed “improvements” mean a lot more heart ache and stress is in store for a lot of families out there.
I’ll do my best, as I always do but at the moment I know my best is no where near enough to be of any use to anyone. I need to take some time out to regroup and hand over control of the situation to the knight in shining armour of this family. He often rides in for a couple of days in a big van and fixes the big stuff while I curl up in a dark room rocking back and forth. Generally, I’m trying to figure out the way out of the mess we find ourselves in, through no fault or our own, but this time I am defeated and cannot see the light.
This is one mess that a cup of tea and a biscuit cannot cure. I’m not sure how much more I can endure and unfortunately neither can the egg shaped ball which has given me so much joy over the past year.
In addition to rugby, I think it’s time I say goodbye to my blog. I simply have not got the energy at the moment or frankly the talent or knowledge to make this venture a success. This year is proving to be pretty pants so far so anything I do write is likely to be highly depressing which isn’t great reading.
The real question I have to answer is whether it is time to give up my life of “leisure” and return to work properly. Maybe that is the solution to our problem. Except for once it isn’t a lack of money that is the problem, it is purely circumstance and we would have ended up in the same position regardless of what choices we made along the way. That is why it is so frustrating.
On the other hand maybe I just need to change my perspective. Maybe I should look at this the same way as the children are. We are trying to convince them it’s just a big adventure and everything is going to be fine and dandy. One thing is for sure, no matter how you look at it this is going to be a trauma for them and that infuriates me most of all. Despite our best efforts and all our hard work to keep them safe and protect their innocence, we are powerless to stop this event from impacting them. What will this teach them? Resilience, possibly. Alternatively it may teach them that hard work and kindness doesn’t get you any where so what is the point in trying after all…
Mumma Bear Roars 