Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day. Do u you celebrate? It isn’t something that my husband and I really bother with. I know for a lot of people the importance of the day has grown. It seems to be focused on the big gestures.

However, I find it disconcerting that so much emphasis seems to be placed on a specific date in the year. I’m also aware that in our household my husband tends to draw the short straw. He receives the same gift each year which is another year of me. That’s enough right?

We have never really made a huge effort for valentines day. It is just another day to us however, I would be lying if I said that there wasnt a small part of me that enjoys seeing what other people have been doing to celebrate the day.

This year I have been spoilt with chocolate and a bunch of roses…awww he is a goodun isn’t he. In addition, he has also completed the kitchen which looks great and is now a fully functioning room again. I know that probably makes me sound like a stereotypical woman who is setting back the progress of the feminist movement with the excitement I feel about this. I have also made a small effort to make the day a bit different just for a change from the sense of groundhog day we are all experiencing.

It felt great to cook a meal today having been unable to do so for the past two weeks. Don’t worry, the novelty of cooking everyday will wear off quickly but today it was a task that I enjoyed. Nothing complicated, bangers and mash all round but it is reassuring to know that everything works as it should before my husband disappears back to work for the week.

It is also half term this week. I’m really looking forward to not having to do the school run…oh wait…hang on…never mind. It is good to know that the teacher for this term is going to get a small break…oh…no sorry, my mistake. I will still have al the other day to day care to keep me occupied.

How am I going to occupy the children this week? I know, a bit of child labour on the allotment I’m sure will do us all some good. There is a vast number of weeds that need to be uprooted before we can plant anything new. Plus it will tie in nicely with the scheduled learning for science next term.

The grandparents have been making suggestions for the upcoming week. One was making mosaics with the pieces of broken tiles left from the kitchen overhaul. Funnily enough when I said I would be happy to provide the materials for her to run this “fun” craft, following which the idea was quickly vetoed. Isn’t it funny how that happens?

Baking was another idea but there is no way I am letting my children loose in my nice new kitchen with its beautiful worktops and fresh tiling!

Do men and women have different ideas of romance? We must do surely? I cannot say that the traditional idea of romance appeals to me. Not just because I now have children, it never has. My idea of the perfect night is going to a gig or watching a scary film or documentary in my pyjamas.

It all seems like a lovely idea, rose petals, candles, chocolate, wine, sharing a bath, massages and even sexy underwear, you know all the scenarios you see in the films. I am at an age now where I cannot see the appeal of a lot of this stuff. I may see something and think “aww, that would be nice” then I remember I will be the one who will more than likely have to clean up the aftermath and all appeal is suddenly lost. Rose petals to clean up, so many candles to blow out, funky sexy underwear with strings and lace in places that mean you require a manual to work out how to put it on let alone get it off again. I have neither the time or energy if truth be told for all that so I am gonna stick to my trusty Bridget Jones pants thank you very much.

I do not understand love songs either. If you listen to the lyrics of a lot of them they are not particularly pleasant. In fact, the majority seem to be talking about break ups or death. How do you live without the one you love or not realising what you had until it’s gone. Of course there are a few exceptions and I can understand the songs asking how you carry on without your soul mate. It is a question I have often asked myself over the years and as a result love songs have the power to pull my mood down.

All in all, I think it is fair to say that my husband and I are not mushy gushy people. In all honesty it never occurred to either of us all those years ago that it would develop in to a long term relationship. It was only ever supposed to be a bit of fun. Luckily, 17 years later, the fun has not disappeared yet and our shared humour keeps our relationship strong. That and the periods of time that we are apart throughout the year helps. Even when we run out of things to talk about we are comfortable with silence between us.

Of course, our relationship is different to other peoples and other people are entitled to their big displays and declarations and will receive no judgement from me.

The flip side, of course, is that our children do not really understand the significance of the day. At least, they do not expect to receive valentines themselves yet. It will be interesting to see what their opinions are as they get older and become more aware of attraction and love. Thankfully we are not there yet.

We do not give our children valentine gifts. Does that make us bad parents? I understand the point when you are in a relationship or in love with someone but when I was younger and single, valentine’s day was a reminder that no one wanted me at that time. I was very young but I still had a feeling of rejection or being ugly because I didn’t receive any valentine cards from school. The longer I can shield my children from feeling this way the better in my opinion.

On that note, I’m off to have a slice of sticky chocolate cake and I suppose I had better go and shave my legs, who knows, I may even really spoil him and wash the bath out afterwards.

Happy Valentines Day to all.