New Hobbies

A couple of months ago my son became ill and required an operation. He had appendicitis which resulted in him having further time off school. Following his return to school after lockdown it took him approximately six weeks to readjust, rebuild his confidence and reconnect with his friends.

He had just settled back in to the rhythm of school when he became ill and needed further time off. While he was off he was worrying about what his friends were doing, all the things they were learning about and how much he was going to fall behind. I have noticed that he struggles to make new friends. He has always been shy and quiet but when it comes to meeting new people now he is even more withdrawn and cautious than he was before.

We have spoken about ways to meet new people, how to approach people and discussed not giving up on difficult activities. It’s all well and good to talk about these things but sometimes it is better to show your child how it works in practice rather than to merely tell them. Words are just words without actions to follow them up.

Naturally, when the opportunity arose to demonstrate how these skills work in practice I initially ran away with my tail between my legs. However, once I took the time to think about the possibilities and benefits I decided to give it a go. I could use it as teachable moment for my son.

So, what was the opportunity? An open day for a local rugby club who are trying to start a women’s team to play next season. It was a wet Sunday afternoon and I decided to turn up and have a go. There I was doing my best impression of Sporty Spice in my husband’s jogging bottoms (don’t ask) trainers and a rugby top with my husband and children in tow keeping everything crossed that I would not make a complete fool of myself.

I got rather wet, the pitch was slippery and I did do an impressive split slide which saved me from falling on my face thankfully, running around, catching a ball, trying to throw the ball and generally having some good old fashioned fun. The children were not overly impressed but did say they thought I was ok although I could be better.

That was a few weeks ago and as soon as I got home I was online ordering myself some “clickety clacks” (rugby boots) ready for the first training session. I have been to every training session so far. It has been fun although I have had a couple of wobbles about my suitability to play. I would be lying if I said I was full of confidence and that I am amazing.

My main concern is that I am not aggressive enough to play. I am also worried that I do not insert myself into the action enough. I have a tendency to stay back and watch where the ball is going (when I can see it) just in case the opposite team get the ball and try to break through to the try line.

Another issue that I have noticed is an inability to see the cones on the grass, particularly green one. Who decided that was a good colour. Let’s make the boundary camouflaged and see how far they will run before they realise they have passed the line.

I have been told that the best way to learn is to get the ball. This is where my lack of aggression is a hindrance as I do not want to deprive one of my team mates with the opportunity to learn either. Apparently I am rather quick though so maybe I am in with a chance if I can figure out how to catch the blooming thing with my hands rather than my face!

Apparently my aggression will come naturally in the future so in the meantime I am going to focus on learning some techniques rather than worrying about how I may react in a match. Hopefully if I nail those elements then I will feel less intimidated in future.

I am hoping that by committing myself to something new it will help to build my own confidence and, in turn, my children will be able to see the benefits of doing something even though you may be scared or nervous.

They saw how nervous I was before we got to the open day, they saw how happy I was afterwards and know that I have been going to the training sessions each week since. Admittedly they will have to wait to see a game. There is a good chance that I will not play in a match but I will still be there cheering the team on as and when the time comes.

Originally I figured I would go to the open day, meet some new people and that would be it. I did not expect to continue with anything more than that. I did not think it would be possible. I was wrong. The ever important grandparents have stepped forward to ensure that the children are taken care of when my husband is working away so that I can attend the training sessions. I am grateful for that.

I have met new people, I haven’t quite got the hang of matching the names to the faces yet but I will get there eventually.

I still feel nervous before the sessions as I do not always “get it”. I played netball in secondary school and as yet, I have not managed to rewire my brain to run with the ball. I am aware that I have a bad habit on the rare occasions that I catch the ball of stopping dead and flinging it to the nearest person. It doesn’t matter what side they are playing on or if they are a coach, the ball will be going in their direction. I don’t think that will go down well in an actual match somehow.

All in all, I am having fun, come rain or shine and I hope that it will be a hobby that I can partake in for a long time as opposed to those pesky dreams that I get bored with quickly and walk away from but we will see.

I will be happy regardless of whether I get to play or not as long as I get to wear the kit. It’s black and it looks awesome!! Yes, I am that shallow, if it was an ugly kit it would be a no from me and everyone knows black is my colour.

Basically any event that ends with a swim or a free cup of tea and a natter with adults is all good with me even if I do have to make a payment with sweat and tears.